"I have learned over the years that when one's mind is madeup, this diminishes fear; knowing what must be done does away with fear."-Rosa Parks

7 more to go

Another week almost complete following treatment #4 of round 2. Might have been the roughest one but manageable. A couple days after treatment I got some of the leg pains I was expecting but also a fever. To be safe we went to Emergency as per my instructions. I hate being overly cautious, but better to be safe.
After a little wait, in an overcrowded waiting room, I was given a room to wait privately, so I could avoid the ever present germs flying around. I was greeted by some very friendly nurses and a dr that seemed thorough in my evaluation. We did an X-ray to make sure no pneumonia and blood work to check my numbers. Everything came out ok and seeing as I was already on antibiotics for my sinuses, the dr felt it was ok for me to go home. I had taken Tylenol at home, so at the hospital, I didn't actually have a fever but was told to come back if it got any worse. I felt much better that evening and the following day.
The fever did return but it wasn't as bad. So topped up with Tylenol, we headed to Lukas's first Portfolio Night which are his second term conferences. Such an interesting experience being on the other side of the table. I always feel so bad when the parents look more nervous than the kids, at conference time, and here I was, now THAT parent. Hoping my child is being respectful, courteous, hardworking, kind, focused, cooperative??!! Lukas proudly showed us all around his room pointing out all of his work and telling us stories about his daily activities at school. What a great night, so proud of that boy. He's come a long way in his confidence and maturity- thank goodness. He absolutely loooves school which I can only pray will continue.

So on we go for number nine tomorrow. I'm feeling less energetic as the days go by but I'm ready to go! Looking forward to checking this one off my list and moving forward.
I've called in a sub for my chemo partner so Loni can watch Kane at his last gymnastics class. M.R has been by my side since I was 10 years old. This wasn't on our list of things to do together, but what the heck- we'll add it to our list of memorable events. Not sure it'll be as fun as Madonna or Cuba, but we can say we did it.

"I am a woman in process. I'm just trying like everybody else. I try totake every conflict, every experience, and learn from it. Life is neverdull." - Oprah Winfrey

8 more to go

A week has almost gone by since my last treatment and I'm feeling so good it's making me a bit nervous. Lol. I never expected it but am so thankful for it. A few aches in my calves and some restless feet at night are the only things I can whine about, for now.
I'm feeling well enough to volunteer at Lukas's school one morning a week. I'm helping in the grade 1 room, working mostly with a 7 year old girl who has moved here with her family from Sudan. It's nice to feel useful for a change instead of asking for something. I also got to go to my school and say hi to everyone and have lunch with my work husband. The kids have grown so much!? Happy to share with them that everything is going as well as we could hope for right now. Loni and I even got a double date night in with our friends to the casino- one of my most favorite places to listen to music.
My check up went well with my doctor and we are starting to map out the next phase of our plan of attack. 8 weeks of 8 more treatments. 4 weeks to rest. Surgery. Then 4 more weeks to rest. And then 6 weeks of radiation. Which puts us at one third through this marathon.
I think I can... I think I can... I think I can.

“You can't go back to how things were. How you thought they were. All you really have is...now.” ― Jay Asher

9 more to go

Another treatment complete! Feeling well physically, emotionally, and mentally. These weekly treatments, being less concentrated, are allowing me a little reprieve. I'm resting whenever I can but also enjoying some fun with my family and friends.
I was able to spend some time with some dear teacher friends and watch a very focused, dedicated group of young men win the league basketball championships!
It was so great to watch their hard work pay off. Special thanks to D.B for coaching the boys after I was unable to finish working with this great group of boys I started with last year. A very special thanks to both boys and girls teams for showing me support the entire season with their beautiful, thoughtful warm up shirts. I will wear mine proudly for a very long time.

"Patience, persistence and perspiration make an unbeatable combinationfor success." Napoleon Hill

10 more to go.
After completing #2 of the weekly regime, I am thankful for the minimal side effects so far. I've had enough energy to have a little fun with my friends and enjoy some laughs. The steroids seem to give me a boost through the weekend and allow me to feel pretty "normal". Other than a few aches here and there, I'm getting puffier and puffier by the minute. My skin is stretching to proportions I hoped I wouldn't see but knew would probably happen. My hands don't look like my hands, and my belly- well we won't even go there. I will keep focussing on the positive - I am kicking this things butt!
I'm looking forward to walking this week with some normal winter temps and breathing in some fresh air to keep a positive attitude for the days ahead.
Taking it a day at a time, but wanting to be done this SO badly, requires alot of patience from a Generation X'er that isn't always so used to taking my time and going at someone else's pace and schedule.
Looking forward to week of school basketball practices and a big play off game victory before the league finals this weekend!

"The happiest people do not have everything, they make the best of everything they have. "

Happy to report that I'm feeling quite well after treatment #5. I can still taste my food and I don't have the aluminum taste that I've had after the previous treatments. I'm fairly certain it will get a little harder as we get into more treatments but for now Im very thankful. It was very nice of Loni's mom and Deb to help with the boys because we just weren't sure how I would react to this new treatment. I had a very relaxing weekend which allowed me to rest. If I'm feeling well into the week, I'm hoping to have lunch with a few friends who have holidays this week. (Teachers get sooo many holidays- do they EVER work?!)

"Kindness in words creates confidence. Kindness in thinking createsprofoundness. Kindness in giving creates love. "-Lao Tzu

Making my way through another week and feeling better as the days go by, heading towards treatment #5. My energy level is definitely taking a hit, but my sinuses have cleared up. I'm having quite terrible headaches almost every day but they do seem to pass if I can get myself moving and sidetracked with something else to focus on. Tylenol helps a bit but its something I'll have to talk to my doctor about this week. My teeth and gums were aching for about 10 days something fierce. I wanted to take a pair of pliers and rip out my back teeth but instead I had a couple of Pepsi Slurpees, which helped alot but only for a short time. That pain seems to have subsided, thank goodness. I just start to feel almost normal and then it's time to blast that darn tumour with chemo. But, I'm ready for the next one!

I am trying so hard to keep my focus and stay positive while constantly visualizing what life will be like when this is all done. I've met some very kind ladies who've beat this and told me I will too. I read books of ladies who have beat it. My friends all hug me and we talk about what we'll do when we beat it.
It makes it even tougher when I hear of someone in my community that is having such a hard time with her cancer she has chosen to go elsewhere to beat it. Someone I've never met but we have common friends. She is it giving it her everything and has so many people who want to support her in every way possible.
She has a tough road ahead of her but we all know she can do it.
If any of my friends and supporters are able to offer her some support, she has 3 beautiful babies she's fighting for every day.

http://www.gofundme.com/shineon

"Wherever you go, no matter what the weather, always bring your ownsunshine." ~Anthony J. D'Angelo

I'm not exactly feeling like a ray of sunshine the last couple days... But I'm blaming -42 temperatures as well as my low energy.
Everything is going pretty well despite the January blues creeping in. I'm having some type of histamine reaction when the steroids wear off which is leaving me to feel like I have a constant sinus infection. I can't lie down or my head feels like its going to explode. So I'm sleeping in a recliner and popping Benadryl every 6 hours. Needless to say I don't awaken to my two boys very spry. But we're getting through it.
I went to see my kids at school- finally. It was so great to see them. They have grown so much- I can't believe it!? I got to say hi to many students and teachers but couldn't make my way through the whole school. I forgot how much energy it takes to be in that building. I hope to go back and hit the other half next week.
My boys basketball team got to fill me in on their 3-0 start to the season. I'm so proud of them and so sad I haven't been able to be apart of it. We've been talking basketball in my classroom since September - knowing this was our season. And they are going for it! I can't wait to watch them play next week.
I could not be more touched with my basketball warm up shirt the boys got me. Both teams are wearing warm up shirts with my initials on them, showing me support and that they're thinking of me. One of the many reasons middle years kids are the best.... Most loyal and caring kids when you show them the same in return.