"NEVER GIVE UP; Never lose hope. Always have Faith, it allows you to cope. Trying times will pass as they always do. Just have patience, your dreams will come true. So put on a smile, you will live through your pain. Know it will Pass, and strength you will gain." - Bel Claveria Carig Martinez

One week after my last chemo treatment. It feels good knowing  that side effects will start slowly leaving my body. Sore legs, numb-tingling toes and fingers, puffy bloated belly, intense night sweats, nausea, dry eyes, baldness and the constant haze I feel like I'm walking. I may have saved most of my nails from falling off. I'm pretty certain I'll lose my big toe nails but from what I hear, I'm pretty lucky for that too. 

It'll take a while to get my energy back but I'm looking very forward to that. My boys have pretty much figured out that our play time is reading books, colouring and watching movies.  I'm not the funnest mom to be hanging with right now, but it'll get better. 

This week was tests and appointments every day. Ct scan. Heart Echo. Meeting my surgeon, Dr.Meiers. Seeing Dr. Kakamanu. And getting my weekly dose of Herceptin. Poor Loni was leaving work constantly. 

Dr. K's visit was the most rewarding of the week. All my tests showed the cancer has not spread to my organs, and the tumour appears to be completely gone-no one can feel anything! 

I don't need to tell you what it felt like getting THAT news!  I'm not a "what if" person but there were  a few flying around in my head the last week.  Knowing this is gone and that I'm kicking this C's butt gives me the strength to get through the upcoming surgery and radiation. 

Meeting Dr. Meiers was a very positive experience. She seems to be a great listener as well as very strong and assertive. She is willing to do a double mastectomy if I feel it's the best for me and that I understand the risks involved. I was hoping to do immediate reconstruction but its looking like that might not be the best for the final result with 6 weeks of radiation needed after the surgery. I wanted to try to avoid two recovery times but Ill do whatever they recommend. No one has steered me wrong this far. 

So I will have 4 weeks rest and then the surgery will happen. I could pretend I'm looking forward to the next phase but that would be a lie. Terrified would be the  word I'd choose. But as one friend said, "Its the end to all of this. It's a good thing." I've met many brave ladies who've proved that this is all fairly standard and recovery happens and you get past it.

In the meantime, I'm looking forward to the little break I get for a couple more weeks. We're going to go to our beautiful new cabin and let the boys collect sticks and rocks until they're blue in the face. The most important thing for me is to not get sick before surgery and to rest up. So I will stick to doing what I need to to 

make that happen.