It took me a long time, but I don't feel as anxious about stupid things anymore - or perhaps they've just been replaced by more complicated stupid things." - Neil Finn

I finally have the green light for radiation!! I'm all tattooed up and ready for lazering to begin! Tomorrow will be my first treatment of radiation. I'm a little anxious about what it's going to be like. How it's going to affect my skin, and how it's going to affect the fluid in my arm where lymph nodes were taken out. These are the areas of concern but not much we can do about it. It'll be what it'll be. My awesome team of physiotherapists at the Pasqua are ready to help me through it. What wonderful ladies I've met there. Tracey and Alissa take such good care of me. They often have to peel me off the roof after my tissue massage but they are making great progress. With radiation, their focus changes a bit from deep tissue massage to lymphatic draining. (Ill explain that more when I actually know what I'm talking about. ;) 

I got back to Level 10 this week to work with Jenna and continue mostly stretching exercises but some strength training and cardio. My body is in a bit of shock after 10 weeks of very little exercise. But, a very very necessary evil. It's quite scary and frustrating how much my physical strength and endurance have been affected but I'm determined to get to an even better level than I was before all this drama started ten months ago. I want to know that my diet, weight, and energy are at my personal best so that I'm ready for work and family life and all its responsibilities. From the way I feel after week one, I can only get stronger:). 

I'm extraordinarily patient provided I get my own way in the end. - Margaret Thatcher

There are many things I've learned in the last nine months....one thing is that there is nothing more frustrating to a cancer patient than her schedule being thrown out of whack. All of my countdowns and calendar dates have been completely messed!! 

I still am not completely healed enough to begin radiation. I am having weekly check ups but no green light yet. "My glass is half full" attitude appreciates that I got much more of a summer than I expected, however, one does get slightly anxious when your body is not responding the way you hoped it would. The drs do see improvement every week but it is not enough to safely begin. If we start to early, I'll lose the implant which will create a much bigger problem than waiting it out a few extra weeks. 

So, swimming lessons, hockey school, business trip to Las Vegas, scrapbooking date, Rider games, barbecues, and play dates as if we were a  regular ordinary family. It's been fun and exhausting but rewarding to know I am bouncing back from the biggest challenge of my life. 

Schedules shmedules. One day at time. Smile on my face and take each day as it comes. My body is responding well and I'm getting through what I need to - even if it is a little slower than expected. 

If you spend your whole life waiting for the storm, you'll never enjoy the sunshine. -Morris West

Lots of work at physio and following through with my stretches at home has my arm physically ready for radiation. Physio continues to work on the chording that is happening. The tendons on my underarm have "gummed" together making actually chords stick out in my arms. Lots of massage and stretching will take care of that over time. 

Unfortuantely, my incisions arent fully healed enough to start radiation. But a check up in the 14th will hopefully result in the green light to begin. 

So far we haven't noticed alot of excess swelling in my arm, which could indicate early stages of lymphadema. But I did get my very fashionable arm sleeve to compress my arm and keep the excess fluid at bay. 

I'm feeling pretty good overall. Very little pain other than when I go through physio. But even that is getting less. 

A few days of some sunshine really helps a persons mental state, well at least mine. Hoping for a bit more before daily radiation ends my summer.